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All reviews - Movies (76)

Final Destination 3 review

Posted : 7 years, 8 months ago on 24 April 2010 07:00 (A review of Final Destination 3)

Death is fucking complicated.

Nice one. Not as good as the first and second, but it comes close. The idea of having the clues to the deaths of the survivors of the accident in the photographs taken on that fateful night is definitely original. Plus the deaths weren't too shabby. The tanning bed deaths and the nail gun death of Erin Ulmer (Johnson) definitely took the top prize. Gorier than the first, this film doesn't lose its momentum, just like the roller coaster which took the lives of some of the high school students who were riding it.
Wendy Christensen (Winstead) is the photographer for her high school's senior yearbook, and during their class trip to the local carnival, she uses her digital camera to capture rare moments of the fun antics of her friends and classmates. While boarding the wildest roller coaster in the carnival, Devil's Flight (the actor who provided the voice over for the Devil is Tony Todd, known as the mortician in the previous FD films), Wendy receives a vision of the roller coaster losing its grip on the railings and throwing her and her classmates out and down to their deaths. Frantic, she tries to warn the roller coaster operator. However, he doesn't believe her, and instead has her and some of her classmates thrown out of the ride. Wendy's boyfriend, Jason (Moss) and best friend, Carrie (Holden) are left on the ride and are killed. Wendy, along with Carrie's boyfriend, Kevin (Merriman), and the rest of their classmates are given a new lease on life. But not for long. Death cannot be cheated, and now, it has come back in full force to claim the lives of those who weren't supposed to survive.
Wickedly cool, and out of the three FD films, this is the first film where no one survives. Oops, spoiler right there. :p Thrills and chills, and if you're a bit morbid and twisted like I am (lmao), you might just enjoy the way the deaths were pulled off.


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The Final Destination review

Posted : 7 years, 8 months ago on 24 April 2010 06:32 (A review of The Final Destination )

Death saved... the best for last.

Not really. Frankly, out of all the FD films I've seen, I like this film the least. The deaths aren't as fanatical as the previous ones, although I did like the montage of some of the most popular deaths from the previous films. It's also one of the shortest FD films, and one which doesn't have the sinister presence of Tony Todd.
Four friends, Nick (Campo), his girlfriend Lori (VanSanten), Janet (Webb), and hotshot Hunt (Zano), are at a racetrack when Nick gets a vision of a car crash which ends up getting them all killed. In his hysteria, he and his friends, along with a handful of other people, get out of the racetrack and are saved. Or so they thought. After two of the people who supposedly would have died in the accident die in the same order they would have if they had stayed, Nick and his friends make the connection with that of the doomed Flight 180, which occurred years ago. Now, they have to find a way to break the chain before Death finally claims them as his own.
As much as I could see how much they wanted to keep this franchise alive, some of the deaths were.. well, not as sensational as the previous ones. I DID like the idea of having your guts sucked out from under your arse (that was probably my favorite in the film), but the rest... meh. Not crappy as compared to other horror films though. I just hope the people behind this franchise know when to stop, before they tarnish the reputation of the first two FD films.


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Prom Night review

Posted : 7 years, 8 months ago on 24 April 2010 06:17 (A review of Prom Night)

It was a memory she couldn't forget, but her nightmare has just begun.

I wasn't impressed. Basically, the only "horror" in this film were the surprises, such as when Donna got startled by her aunt standing behind her in the bathroom. Other than that.. zilch. I couldn't find myself actually liking the film, and I was actually annoyed by all the characters. Going where they're not supposed to, investigating weird noises, screaming their heads off instead of doing something to survive... ugh. Really.
Donna Keppel (Snow) is trying to forget the horrors of her past and face the future with a smile on her face. Unfortunately for her, the past still haunts her, both in her dreams and whenever she is awake. Three years ago, one of her teachers, Richard Fenton (Schaech) developed a deadly obsession, and after Donna's parents got a restraining order for him and made him lose his job in Donna's school, Fenton went to her house and killed her father, younger brother, and stabbed Donna's mother before her very eyes (she was hiding under her brother's bed). He was subsequently caught, arrested, and after pleading to insanity, was locked up for life. However, three days before Donna's senior prom, he escaped. Donna knew nothing about this, and she, along with her boyfriend Bobby (Porter), her two best friends Lisa (Davis) and Claire (Stroup), and their boyfriends, Ronnie (Pennie) and Michael (Blatz), prepared for their big night. Detective Winn (Elba), the policeman who brought Fenton in three years ago, learns about Fenton's escape and rushes to inform Donna's aunt and uncle. However, it appears as if Winn is too late, as Fenton has already checked into the hotel where Donna is having her senior prom, and is slowly killing her friends one by one.
Slow. Boring. Ho-hum. No thrills or chills, and even the presence of Twilight alum, Kellan Lutz (as Rick Leland) wasn't able to salvage this film. Watch if you must.


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The Wolfman review

Posted : 7 years, 8 months ago on 24 April 2010 01:56 (A review of The Wolfman)

Darkness comes for you.

Now THIS is what a film about a werewolf should be like! Unlike some of my peers, I definitely enjoyed this film. Nowadays, with werewolves being measured by their abs and the hotness of the actors who play them, "The Wolfman" gives audiences a new and more authentic look on what a werewolf should be. Set in the late 19th century, the film revolves around a young man coming home after the sudden death of his brother, his subsequent infection from a fellow werewolf, and the events that follow.
Lawrence Talbot (del Toro) is compelled to return to his childhood home in Blackmoor after his brother's fiancee writes to him about the sudden disappearance of his brother. When he arrives, his father, John (Hopkins), tells him that his brother has been found in a ditch. When Lawrence goes to inspect the body of his brother, he sees an amulet which originated from the band of gypsies who have camped outside of the village. His visit to the gypsy camp causes him to encounter the fearful beast, who bites him on the shoulder. One of the oldest gypsies, Maleva (Chaplin), says that he has been marked by the beast, and a terrible curse now follows him. With just a few days before the full moon, Lawrence tries to make sense of what is happening to him and the consequences that would follow.
One reveal in the film wasn't really a huge surprise - in fact, I would be shocked if what my gut feeling told me DIDN'T happen. But it did, so.. no surprises there. :)) Although at first I wasn't too sure that del Toro would fit into the film, but in the end, he did. His gaunt, sullen appearance and the quiet way in which he moved and spoke contributed well to his portrayal of his character. He didn't do anything over the top or drastic, even during his transformation into a werewolf. Emily Blunt wasn't a shrieking damsel in distress as Gwen Conliffe; in fact, she was the one who dealt the death blow on Del Toro's Wolfman. She definitely exuded strength, and her love for Lawrence pushed her to do research on how to cure lycanthropy, the disease which ran through Lawrence's veins. Hopkins. As sleazy as ever. The man even gave glimpses into his Hannibal Lecter portrayal, which was a nice accidental (?) addition to his acting. Hugo Weaving as the Scotland Yard detective, Abberline, didn't exactly have a commanding aura, but he still was a strong force against the Wolfman. Another thing which I liked about the film was that it seemed like the werewolf counterpart to Francis Ford Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula. The music, the visuals, even the part where Gwen was perusing the different books of lycanthropy made me see the parallelism between the movies. If you haven't seen either film, go ahead. Watch it. The full moon compels you to.


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Kung Fu Panda review

Posted : 7 years, 8 months ago on 24 April 2010 01:23 (A review of Kung Fu Panda)

Him? But he's a panda! You're a panda! What are you going to do, big guy? Sit on me?

Dayyyuum, I love love love this film! :D There isn't a second where you aren't laughing, and it shows you a lighter side to a serious martial arts form: kung fu. Stellar cast, fantastic storyline, and funny antics and witty one-liners.
Po (Black) is a panda whose dad is in the noodle soup business. While his body is doing the task of tending to the customers who flock to their shop everyday to taste their famous Secret Ingredient Noodle Soup, his mind keeps wandering into a world where he is a famous kung fu master who hangs out with the Furious Five. During a ceremony where kung fu expert, Oogway (Duk Kim) will decide who will be the Dragon Master, Po's entire life changes as he gate crashes into the ceremony. Now dubbed as the Dragon Master, Po has to go through rigorous training from Oogway's apprentice, Master Shifu (Hoffman), if he has any hopes of defeating Tai Lung (McShane), the former student of Master Shifu.
Honestly, if you're into comedy and kung fu films, then you should definitely see this one. Imagine having a praying mantis (Rogen) beat a huge, flabby panda in the kung fu arena, or a viper (Liu) delivering a can of whipass. add to that the numerous comic lines and you are sure to have a hit on your hands.


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Holes review

Posted : 7 years, 8 months ago on 24 April 2010 12:48 (A review of Holes)

The early mole digs the deepest hole.

I wasn't actually planning on seeing this film, but since it was the only decent-looking movie on the television, I decided to watch it anyway. At first the fact that a group of boys were digging for something unknown seemed a bit out there, but as the film progressed, I found myself enjoying the film.
Stanley Yelnats IV (La Beouf) has been sent to a teen detention camp called Camp Green Lake, after he was caught with the prized sneakers of a popular athlete. Once there, he encounters Warden Walker (Weaver), and her two weird guards, Mr. Sir (Voight) and Dr. Pedanski (Blake Nelson). Stanley is surprised to learn that all he has to do for the remainder of his stay in the detention camp is dig holes - lots of them. When Stanley finds a lipstick tube with the letters "KB" etched on them, Warden Walker becomes even more excited and urges the boys to dig even more holes. After one of Stanley's "digmates" tries to pass off a control knob as another find, Warden Walker loses it and tells the boys that they will have no more bath privileges until the end of the week. As the film progresses, we find the main reason why Warden Walker has been ordering the boys to dig: her ancestor, Trout Walker (Plank) fell in love with the town's beautiful schoolteacher, Kathryn Barlow (Arquette). However, she fell in love with Sam (Hill), a Black American who had fixed her schoolhouse for a few jars of her famous peach jam. Trout burned the schoolhouse and shot Sam, causing Kathryn to become a notorious bank robber, known as "Kissin Kate Barlow", on the account that she always left a kiss mark on the cheeks of her victims. When Trout cornered Kate in the once lush lake of their town (which had dried up since the death of Sam) and demanded to know where she buried the money she stole, Kathryn killed herself by letting the poisonous yellow lizard bite her on the arm. Trout and his descendants - in this case, Warden Walker - have been digging holes ever since, trying to find the money.
I liked the concept, and the way they tied the flashbacks to the story wasn't messy, and it definitely explained why the main activity in the film (digging holes) was being done. The actors were all great, and the teen actors actually showed more than a hint of potential, especially La Beouf. A fun family film, and the names assigned to the teenage boys were hilarious. Comic, serious, and comic again. This film is one roller coaster ride, and it goes to show that Disney isn't just about the musicals.


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House of the Dead review

Posted : 7 years, 8 months ago on 19 April 2010 02:29 (A review of House of the Dead)

These are zombies, pure and simple.

What an insightful observation. It made me realize how crappy a director Uwe Boll really is. He completely shattered my favorite video game with his lower than low film adaptation. Not only is there no show of Dr. Curien in the film (his use of the name as the protagonist's last name does NOT count), but there is also NO mansion, fat chainsaw-wielding zombies, undead dogs, monkeys, and the rest of the undead which were featured in the games. Instead, we are left with a mishmash of a teenage horror flick, plus "raise your eyebrows" type of zombies, covered in tattered cloth and mummy-like skin, and equally raspy moans. WTH?!!
A group of teenagers travel to a deserted island despite warnings of local shipmen in order to attend the so-called "party of the year", hosted by Sega (by an 'uncanny' twist of fate, the party host is the company who helmed the HotD video game series). When they arrive, the entire party site is deserted, but it doesn't take long for the undead to swarm the entire forest, picking off the teenagers one by one.
Although Uwe Boll tried to achieve a video game quandary by inserting video game clip shots throughout the film, the result was a dizzy, unnecessary addition to an already crappy film.
Please. DO NOT see this film.


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Clash of the Titans review

Posted : 7 years, 8 months ago on 19 April 2010 12:26 (A review of Clash of the Titans)

Release the Kraken!

Fantastic. I am SO glad this film didn't let me down. Based on the feedback of some of my trusted mates, I watched this film with my dad in 2D, and both of us could NOT shut up about it after we watched it. It's everything a Greek mythology film should be: powerful Gods, fantastic fight scenes, stunning visual effects, the ethereal beauties, and humans who perform feats worthy of the Gods.
Perseus (Worthington) grew up knowing he wasn't the real son of his parents, Spyros (Postlethwaite) and Marmara (McGovern), who were humble fisherfolk. During an excursion off the coast of Aethiopia, an attack by a fierce sea monster (later revealed to be the offspring of Hades, God of the Underworld) causes their fishing boat to be capsized, and Perseus' adoptive family all drown. Perseus is then led by the Aethiopian soldiers into the court of King Kepheus (Regan), and his defiant wife, Queen Cassiopeia (Walker). When Cassiopeia boldly boasts that her daughter, Andromeda (Davalos), could easily rival the beauty of Aphrodite (Deyn), Hades (Fiennes) appears, and ends up killing most of the soldiers in the court. Perseus is spared, much to the surprise of Hades. Hades then kills Cassiopeia for her insolence, turning her into a withered old woman until she dies of old age. Next, he proclaims that the Kraken will devour the entire kingdom unless the Princess is offered as a sacrifice. Perseus is then thrown into prison by Draco (Mikkelsen), one of the King's best soldiers. He later admits a young woman into Perseus' cell. She is Io (Arterton), and she has watched over Perseus since he was a baby. She was the one who led him to his foster parents, and has been guiding him until the day came when it was time for him to take his destiny into his own hands. Perseus then embarks on a journey which will lead him against the formidable Medusa (Vodianova), whose stony stare is the only thing which could stop the Kraken.

Things I Loved About the Film:
1. How Liam Neeson (Zeus) says the line: "Release the Kraken!"


- Normally, actors (and even normal people) would shout this line. Instead, Neeson delivers this line forcefully without actually raising his voice, that you honestly believe that he is issuing an order that MUST be obeyed. Respect, fear, and obedience are expected in that one line, and it was fantastic how Neeson said it using only the tenure of his voice.

2. Medusa wasn't completely a monster.


- In Greek Mythology, Medusa and her sisters still retained vestiges of their former beauty, and I was happy that Medusa (save for when she exercises her deadly glare and the form of her body) looked beautiful in her normal state. Plus, she becomes even deadlier because she wields a bow and arrows.

3. The casting of Neeson and Fiennes as Zeus and Hades, respectively.


- Perfect actors who blended into their roles. Plus... have you noticed how uncanny their resemblances are when they have beards and shaggy hair? :D

4. The Olympus scenes


Although they didn't show the other gods and goddesses as they did with Zeus and Hades, the scenes in Mount Olympus were fantastic nevertheless. Here was a place where the Gods held precedence, and you could imagine them discussing the affairs of humans, as well as plotting and scheming behind each others' backs.

5. The subtle chemistry between Perseus and Io


- No frenzied kisses - their gazes said it all. Plus, Perseus gave a wisecracker line when he and Io were training for his fight with the Hydra:
Perseus: "I just wish I didn't enjoy this so much."
Io: "I'm trying to help you survive."

6. Draco's last act before being turned to stone


- For a man who's been serious throughout the entire movie, Draco smiles a split second before being turned into stone. That definitely moved me; he may have been serious while he was alive, but his intent was to remain smiling forever. And his last line was a classic: "Tell them men did this."

Probably the longest review I've done. Do I even need to tell you that you SHOULD watch this film? Plus... isn't it obvious that I'm completely in love with it? :p


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Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs review

Posted : 7 years, 8 months ago on 15 April 2010 10:54 (A review of Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs)

Look, these are my kids! And you're gonna have to go through me to get them!

Who would've thunk that Sid would end up having three baby T-Rexes as his kids? Well, it doesn't really come as a surprise, since Sid IS a little.. addled. :)) In the third installment of the Ice Age series, the herd faces dissension, especially when Ellie (voiced by Latifah) and Manny (voiced by Romano) are about to start a family of their own. Diego (voiced by Leary) feels a little out of the loop, and after unsuccessfully trying to catch a leaping gazelle, feels like he's losing his touch. He decides to leave, and Sid (voiced by Leguizamo) decides that he wants to have a family as well. When he falls through a crack in the ice, he discovers three huge eggs which he then takes and passes off as his own. The next day, the eggs hatch, and we find that these were actually T-Rex eggs! Mayhem immediately ensues, since the baby dinos end up trying to eat the other animals. When Sid's "kids" end up wrecking the playground Manny prepared for his baby, Manny becomes furious and tells Sid to bring the dinos back from where they came from. Unfortunately, the real mother of the baby dinos comes looking for her babies, and when Sid tries to defend them, the mother T-Rex takes Sid and the three baby dinos down the crack in the ice. Manny, Ellie, Crash (voiced by William Scott), Eddie (voiced by Peck), and eventually, Diego, follow the T-Rex into another world - one where Manny ends up "feeling puny". They have entered the dinosaur world, many miles below their icy domain. They meet a cocky, dino-world savvy weasel named Buck (voiced by Pegg), who helps them navigate the strange terrain in order to save Sid.
Just like the two films before it, Ice Age 3 delivers a knockout in terms of humour, friendship, loyalty, and all those virtues which are important in life. More laughs (especially from Sid's end), and watch out for Scratte, a female version of Scrat, who is also after the same acorn. ;)


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Ice Age review

Posted : 7 years, 8 months ago on 15 April 2010 10:32 (A review of Ice Age)

I don't know about you guys, but we are the weirdest herd I've ever seen.

Amen to that. But thank God that this herd is also the funniest herd in existence. You may not go for cartoons which involve talking mammals, and if you ever have the folly to decide to skip this film, then it's your loss. :p
The film starts with a prehistoric rat named Scrat (I reckon he's a cross between a squirrel and a rat) running after an acorn. His efforts result in a huge crack on the side of the mountain, and he his catapulted through the air and in the path of migrating mammals. Although most of the animals are headed south, one woolly mammoth by the name of Manfred (voiced by Romano) is headed in the opposite direction. Another mammal, a sloth named Sid (voiced by Leguizamo), suddenly wakes up to find that his entire family has left him... for the umpteenth time. After messing up the salad of two rhinos, Sid frantically bumps into Manfred and asks for help. Manfred refuses at first, but when the rhinos confront him, he has no choice but to defend himself. Sid and Manfred end up bickering the entire way (Sid hangs with Manfred - who we now know as Manny - mainly to serve as his protection from bigger, tougher predators). In another part of the area, a human and his family are savagely attacked by a group of sabertooth tigers led by the vengeful Soto (voiced by Visnjic). One of the tigers, Diego (voiced by Leary) is assigned to retrieve the baby of the human who killed half of their pack. When Diego is unable to get the baby (the mother jumps off a cliff in order to save her son), Soto orders Diego to get the baby no matter what the cost - unless he wants to be the one killed in place of the child. Diego immediately sets off to find the baby, but Manny and Sid find the kid first. After failing to convince the two that the baby belongs to him, Diego agrees to lead Manny and Sid to the other side of the pass, towards the human settlement. What the two don't know, however, is that Diego has sent word that he is bringing the baby along with a mammoth, and his pack prepares for the ambush. Along the way, the unlikely herd encounters wacky dodos, Scrat, explores an ice cave, and eventually form a close bond which ends in Diego defying his pack and saving Manny, Sid, and the baby.
Love this film. It's basically one of the most heart-warming animal-based films I've seen, and the funniest as well. Who would imagine a mammoth, sabertooth tiger, and a sloth teaming up together and forming one of the closest friendships in animal movie history? If you're into happy endings and laughs along the way, this film is definitely for you.



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