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All reviews - Movies (76)

GoldenEye (1995) review

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 7 March 2010 03:23 (A review of GoldenEye (1995))

Xenia Onatopp: You don't need the gun.

James Bond: Well, that depends on your definition of safe sex.

Loved the film; Sean Bean was a unique villain and Famke Janssen an unusual villainness. A 00 agent is the villain this time around, giving viewers a break from the "rich -insert occupation here-" has decided to use his riches to finance a scheme that will threaten the world. Instead, only one country is the target, and this is because he wants to avenge his parents' death after the country's government betrayed his own country and thus caused his parents to commit suicide. I remember reading that Xenia Onatopp is the only bad Bond girl who actually provided facial expressions depicting extreme sexual pleasure, and I can see what they mean. James Bond (Brosnan) is sent by his superior, M (Dench) to find out what happened in a remote Russian facility which was completely destroyed by a sonic blast. The only survivor, Natalya (Scorupco), holds the identity of the two people who infiltrated the base and killed all of her co-workers, save for a computer programmer, Boris (Cumming). He finds out that the mastermind behind the theft of Goldeneye is his former colleague and friend, Alec Treveylan (Bean), who plans to use the rocket to destroy London as revenge for the death of his parents who killed themselves after the death of Stalin.
The story was great, and it comes to no surprise that the director of my favorite movie, "Casino Royale", was the one who helmed this film. A lot of witty one-liners were thrown in this movie, mainly in reference to Janssen's character, who clearly holds the best Bond girl name in history (aside from Pussy Galore, that is): Xenia Onatopp. Love Moneypenny's quip: "And she trusts that you will stay...Onatopp of things." Great film, you certainly won't be disappointed with this one.

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Rest Stop review

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 7 March 2010 03:22 (A review of Rest Stop)

"Son, when you get shot out there, you think it hurts like hell. But when you don't feel anything, it's when you're not going to make it. And Nicole, it doesn't hurt at all."

THIS WAS THE UNRATED VERSION?! One word: disappointing. It would have been a nice film, but it became boring and slow as the minutes ticked by. I thought I was set for a horrifying time, but I was wrong. Nicole Carrow (Jaimie Alexander) has decided to drive to California with her boyfriend, Jesse Hilts, after being fed up with her overprotective parents. What should have been a fun and romantic drive soon turned into one of horror, when, after a heated argument, Nicole insists that she as to go to the bathroom and Jesse pulls up into a rest stop. After doing her business in the bathroom, Nicole leaves the bathroom only to find that her boyfriend - and his car - is missing. As the night goes on, Nicole is terrorized by an unknown man who drives a yellow pickup with the plate number KZL 303, as well as a weird trailer family who picks her up and then drops her off again at the rest stop. The end is ho hum and so so; it took all of my self control to keep the movie where it is and not skip to the credits. Friendly tip: if someone tells you that you're going to watch Rest Stop: Dead Ahead as part of your movie marathon, do everyone a favor and chuck the DVD right into the trash.

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Saw review

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 7 March 2010 03:21 (A review of Saw)

Dr. Gordon: What's your name?

Adam: My name is Very Fucking Confused, what's your name?

After a long wait, I finally watched the movie everyone has been talking about. and i must say, i found myself enjoying this film. being a fan of movie twists and suspense thrillers, Saw is one of the few movies which actually make you stop and think. no detail is too small; every factor in the scenes may prove to be vital in the upcoming events. take for example the glowing object which was flushed down the bathtub drain; it turned out to be the key to adam's freedom (literally). i also was surprised to see the star of 'the princess bride' chained to a pipe and giving one of his best performances as a doctor and a family man gone temporarily insane. i could definitely see where he was coming from: he could hear the scuffle of his wife, zepp, and tapp, while his daughter screamed hysterically in the background. who wouldnt think the worst? irony is also a playing factor in this movie, and i loved how the director and the storyline played it out. but what really got me was the recollection of amanda, the only person known to survive the trap with which she found herself in. it must have been extremely traumatic, having to fight for your life even if you know how much of a scumbag you really are. :)) familiar tv personalities added to the roster of characters (leung, meyer, and the guy who played zepp) and made the movie even more enjoyable (for me, that is). even a surprise cast member, glover, made me go 'wth' when he first appeared. i can never connect him to any other movie that predator 2. looks like he liked being the cop that hunts the baddies down. :DDDDD it only took one viewing for it to become one of my favorite movies.

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Saw II review

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 7 March 2010 03:20 (A review of Saw II)

Those who don't appreciate life do not deserve life.

That was unexpected. The ending and big reveal of the second Saw film had me on the floor, eyes bulging, and me thinking: "I didn't see THAT coming." Of course, for those who haven't seen the film, I won't spill anything here. :pp In the second installment of the Saw sixology, John Kramer, aka Jigsaw, continues his pilgrimage of teaching immoral people a lesson in life which they will never forget.. provided that they come out alive. This time, there are 8 people locked inside a house which, according to Billy, Jigsaw's doll, has been emitting a deadly gas that could turn their internal organs into mulch if they don't find the antidote in time. Among the prisoners is the son of detective matthews, who has been in and out of jail because of petty crimes, and amanda young, which, as seen in the first film, was the only person to survive Jigsaw's trap. I wasn't as impressed by this movie as i was by the first one, but the twist ending shocked me. I loved the way the events unfolded at the same time; furthermore, jigsaw's penchant for placing crucial minute details made the movie even better than it should. i can imagine what survivor would be like if john kramer were in charge of the challenges. :DD here's to the saw series *cheers*

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Saw III (2006) review

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 7 March 2010 03:19 (A review of Saw III (2006))

Death is a surprise party.

How in the deuce do you get a star from the classic film Braveheart to star in what most people see as a horror movie? Kidnap him and make him play a game, of course! :))) It seems as if the longer the Saw series progresses, the more complicated the storyline becomes. This time, John Kramer is dying of his cancer and asks his protégé to kidnap a doctor to help him stay alive long enough to witness his greatest test to be played out. At the same time, a man bent on finding the person who killed his son is forced to make the choice on whether he will let three people connected to his son's death live or die. A bit of a mess after the first two, but it still continues the narration of Kramer's bloody legacy. The traps are less sinister, with the sole exception of Jigsaw's personal favourite: the Rack. I found Detective Kerry's demise unnecessary, since her death deviated from Jigsaw's usual pattern of getting people who have led unworthy lives. But, as Jigsaw pointed out near the end of the movie, his supposed protégé seemed to disregard the value of giving people a second chance at life by making the traps inescapable. In a way, this type of attitude towards the people who they want to teach a lesson to is more sinister and gives you a little more insight on the type of person Jigsaw really is: despite the number of people who have died while playing his games, he still makes sure that they have a fighting chance. I think this is one of the beauties of the series: they make you appreciate your life a little more, and they also enforce the importance of compassion. Even the most hard-hearted killer can repent if he or she has compassion flowing through his/her heart and soul. This isn't just mindless bloodshed; this is showing people who have become lax and careless with the way they go about their lives how much they are throwing away.

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Tomorrow Never Dies review

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 7 March 2010 03:18 (A review of Tomorrow Never Dies)

"The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success."

The second Bond movie which featured Pierce Brosnan as the British agent wasn't as good as the first. Okay, so it had an interesting storyline, but compared to Goldeneye, it was a bit of a mess. Too much explosions and show of terrorism definitely clouded the film. It was still a good attempt, but if you made me choose between Goldeneye and this film, I'd choose the former. James Bond (Brosnan) is asked to investigate the sudden sinking and disappearance of a British warship carrying deadly missiles somewhere in the South China Sea. Their main suspect is Elliot Carver (Jonathan Pryce of the Pirates of the Caribbean series), a megalomaniac media mogul who is masterminding different acts of terrorism in an attempt to start a war between the British and the Chinese. His prize: exclusive broadcasting rights in China for the next century. On his superior's orders, James approaches Paris Carver (Teri Hatcher), the wife of Elliot and his former flame, whom he says was the only woman who "came too close for comfort". The same night as his arrival (which was during a party in Carver's building to celebrate the launch of his new satellites), a Chinese reporter, Wai Lin (Michelle Yeoh) also arrives and asks for a position in Carver's company. It turns out that Lin is with the Chinese Secret Service, and together they team up to stop Carver from carrying out his nefarious plans. Watch this film if you wish, and I hope you enjoy it a bit better than I did. ;)

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The Fifth Element review

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 7 March 2010 03:17 (A review of The Fifth Element)

" I don't know love. I was built to protect not to love, so there is no use for me other than this."

The Fifth Element is a tangy, interesting science fiction film which deals with a man destined to save the world and protect the one being who can save the Earth. Korbin Dallas (Willis) is a retired soldier who is thrown into a battle to save the Earth after the prophesized Supreme Being, also known as Leeloo (Jovovich), crashes through the roof of his taxi while on the run from the police. Amidst the babble of Leeloo's alien chatter, Korbin takes her to Father Cornelius (Holm), who is in fact part of a secret society which aims to protect the four stones which represent the four elements, plus the fifth element, which can save the Earth in case of dire need. However, wealthy art collector Zorg (Oldman) is also after the stones, after learning about the power it brings from Father Cornelius himself. Korbin wins a trip to a luxury cruise yacht courtesy of DJ Ruby Rod (Tucker in one of his hilarious performances), and the entire film climaxes in an explosive action sequence which isn't over-the-top or too little. I loved the way the events unfolded in the film, and everyone gave great performances. But the two actors who really sold this movie were Chris Tucker and Gary Oldman. I just love it when actors give unexpected, eccentric performances, and these two definitely bagged it. One thing which confuses me though, is the real nature of DJ Ruby Rod. Is he really a straight male, or does he zigzag a bit? :D Despite that, the film is a fun thing to watch. ;)

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Saw VI (2009) review

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 7 March 2010 03:16 (A review of Saw VI (2009))

"Remember, don't trust the one who saves you."

And so, even after the death of John Kramer aka Jigsaw, immoral people have met their bloody demise and/or experienced grisly torture. The reason? Detective Hoffman, the first of Jigsaw's apprentices (the other being the deceased Amanda Young) has taken over the reins of his mentor and has continued playing cruel and sadistic games meant to teach people a very important lesson: never take advantage of the life you lead. He isn't the only one playing a game, however; John's ex-wife, Jill, has been given a box containing six envelopes which contain information about six people who will be the unwilling participants of the next game. They include a high ranking official of the insurance company who refused to give John funding to see a doctor in Norway who could possibly extend his life, a nosy reporter bent on writing a scandalous expose about John by trying to get an interview with Jill, and a mother and son who were connected to the insurance company.
More bloody than the last five, but, if you won't cheat and take a peek at the ending, there is a huge twist at the end that would make you go "WTFH?!" :)))))) After the big twist was revealed, I fully appreciated the genius of Jigsaw as well as the screenwriters with the way they carefully thought of every scene and event so that they intertwined with each other. Those who describe the Saw series as meaningless and not thought of are deluded; they cannot accept the fact that something that shows people being tortured actually has a reason behind it: teaching people a lesson on how to live their lives properly.
One quote which I will never, ever forget that I took from watching the six Saw movies: "Some people are so ungrateful to be alive. But not you. Not anymore." That sums up the philosophy behind the series: valuing your life and not throwing it away.
If you were faced with certain death, how much blood would you shed to stay alive?

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When a Stranger Calls review

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 7 March 2010 03:15 (A review of When a Stranger Calls)

"What do you want?"

"Your blood all over me."

Decidedly disappointing.
The movie looked promising, but as the events rolled on in a slow, monologuos fashion, I got bored with the storyline easily. Camilla Belle plays Jill Johnson, a high school student who's part of the track team and whose boyfriend, Bobby (Brian Geraghty), seems to be cheating on her (at least she thinks he is) since she caught him snogging her best friend Tiffany (Katie Cassidy; Supernatural addicts recognize her as the demon who gets possessed by Lilith in a shocking turn of events near the end of season 3). The night during the bonfire party for the football team, she goes to a babysitting gig at the Mandrakises, who live in a secluded lakeside house. I won't go into more details, since the movie made me bored; even the supposed thrills were just slow and dragging. Belle tries her best to build up the suspense, but her skills fall short. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone, because i don't want to subject them to the same torture I went through. Despite the fact that the killer was in fact portrayed by an actor who starred in Braveheart and Gladiator (Tommy Flanagan), his big reveal at the end of the movie did nothing but make me raise my eyebrows. My reaction is similar to that of Belle's just before credits rolled: one of insanity. Watch if you dare, and hope you come out of the viewing with your sanity intact.

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The Count of Monte Cristo review

Posted : 8 years, 4 months ago on 7 March 2010 01:46 (A review of The Count of Monte Cristo)

What happened to your mercy?"
"I'm a count, not a saint."

Loved this film. I loved the book, but after some of my favorite novels turned into rubbish film adaptations, I wasn't expecting too much. But I was pleasantly surprised after viewing this film. Jim Caviezel plays the title role as the Count of Monte Cristo, who is actually the wrongfully accused sailor, Edmund Dantes. Guy Pearce (The Time Machine), is Fernand, Dantes' best friend and who is secretly in love with Mercedes (Dagmara Dominiczyk), the fiancee of Dantes. In a fit of jealousy, Fernand teams up with Danglars, the shipmate of Dantes, and they expose the supposed support of Dantes for Napoleon Bonaparte. Villefort's (James Frain) father is in fact the traitor, but in order to protect his reputation as Prosecutor, he has Dantes imprisoned for life, fuelled by the information provided by Fernand. Dantes spends 13 years in the Chateau D'If, but there he meets Father Faria (Richard Harris), who teaches him everything from philosophy, sword fighting, and proper etiquette. When Faria is gravely injured while working on their escape tunnel, Dantes takes the priest's place and escapes the prison. Upon taking ownership of the Spada fortune, he transforms himself into the Count of Monte Cristo, and begins his plans for revenge. Caviezel and Pearce provided a good rivalry, and of course, Harris was the perfect Father Faria (although as I recall, he was supposed to be Spanish). Helen McCrory (she plays Narcissa Malfoy in the Harry Potter series) didn't have as much screen time as I hoped she would, but she was still as effective as the wife of Villefort. A good periodic piece, but don't expect it to strictly stick by the novel. ;)

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